The Life and Lies of Special Agent Spencer Reid
by dancingintheraintonight
Summary: Since he was five years old Spencer Reid has been trained by the CIA to be a soldier. Everything you know about him is a lie. When a classified case comes for the BAU, he is about to be caught in a deadly lie from his past.


Disguise, lie, and manipulate.

These are the three rules of his life that he had followed since he was five years old. The CIA wanted him for his bright insight, and brilliant mind. With a mind working like a functional adult he could infiltrate as a child better into the mix. Sometimes he was a relative of an undercover agent, or he was placed in foster care and glided towards their sons and daughters gaining the trust of the adults and access to their houses.

* * *

><p>He learned how to shoot a gun when he was five - and- a half. He was sent on his first undercover mission when he was six. He killed a man when he was six.<p>

* * *

><p>The first thing he was taught, was if you have to kill, then kill. They deserved it, and you can't risk blowing your cover. He wouldn't tell anyone, but he cried in his bed the first time he murdered someone, even if it was for the job.<p>

Deceit: You must lie. Always find a second way out of a room when you enter. Never let your guard down. Remember your cover story. Do not break character. Always be able to come up with a lie that sounds genuine. And god forbid, do whatever it is that they tell you to stay alive.

The missions were not pretty, nor were they fun. But he did them. He was the CIA's golden boy, their prodigy. The youngest CIA agent ever in history. He won tons of awards, and metals. No one knew about them, the outside world. He was the president's best kept secret of all time. In all reality, how would the public feel about America having their own child soldier?

Manipulating was his specialty. He precisely twisted his words around to get around what he wanted to say.

* * *

><p>He met Jason Gideon when he was twelve. Gideon, and Spencer went on a few undercover missions together. Sometimes Gideon was his father, other times his uncle. Gideon left when he was sixteen. He went to the BAU of the FBI. Spencer still heard from him occasionally. He really hoped his pseudo- father was doing okay; that he was happy. This line of work they had chosen was full of misery, and a part of him hoped he was gaining that back with the FBI catching the serial killers, instead of making friends with them, killing just like them.<p>

* * *

><p>When he was twenty-one he was visited by Gideon and the Director of the FBI once again. They wanted him to join the BAU. He tried to refuse, because despite what people thought he hated the CIA, he was happy. He liked undercover operations, the thrill of knowing that any second was your last.<p>

After two hours of hearing their pleading, the Director of the CIA, Director Callum came into the room, he was explained what was going to happen. The BAU needed an agent who had done intensive undercover work, and could profile about anything. He tried to refuse.

"But I'm happy here." He stressed as they looked on carefully with shocked expressions, except Callum. Callum, or Uncle Cal as he was allowed to call. He did grow up in the CIA after all.

After a long time discussing the details, it was decided that Spencer Reid was allowed to be in the BAU. He would not discuss his past. He could only mention his dad left when he was ten, and his mother was a paranoid Schizophrenic. He graduated when he was twelve, and had three degrees. The cover story was all set up for him.

He agreed to go as long as he could work CIA cases on the side. So it was decided, that on the weekends and during planned vacation times for the BAU, Spencer would be a CIA agent.

It was not what he wanted, but he would deal with it.

* * *

><p>He hated the rules that were set for him.<p>

He had to be terrible with his gun.

He had to act like Gideon was his superior, not an equal.

He had to start over again, and this time he wasn't going to be the CIA legend that he once was.

* * *

><p>When he went into the BAU, he was furious. That agent Morgan, had the audacity to call him <em>kid, and<em> _pretty boy. _Soon all of the other agents caught on and started to call him that. Only Gideon would stare at him with eyes pleading I'm sorry. I never thought they would react to you like this.

There were many times when Spencer wished he could tell about how he murdered fifteen people who were involved in a terrorist group when he was six years old, once he had gained acceptance and access into the terrorism group in Cairo. Maybe they would stop calling him _kid _then.

* * *

><p><em>Pretty Boy. <em>It was degrading. Never in the sixteen years had he spent with the CIA, was he degraded to that saying. To the women, he was called Cassanova, or my man. With the men, he was known as The Legend, Super Man , even Captain . Never in his life had he been degraded to something as juvenile as _Pretty boy._

* * *

><p>He hated how the team treated him like a child. How Hotch and the others tried to get Gideon to keep him in the office and stay out of the field. He gritted his teeth when they were not looking, cursing Uncle Cal, Gideon, and the director of the FBI, for forcing him into this position.<p>

He saved this ammunition of hatred, for that weekend when he pretended to be a drug dealer just like every other night, and shot one of the meticulous murderers the CIA had been trying to capture for the past year. They threw him a goddam party for landing him in a coma.

* * *

><p>For years it was a game of disguising, lying, and manipulating with the BAU team. Hell his whole life he had been playing this game.<p>

* * *

><p>He took off five months after the Boston bomber incident. He consoled Gideon as best as he could. He asked him to accompany him to an undercover mission up in Russia, to help him get his mind off losing six of his agents. He just looked at him with those sad eyes that still broke his heart today.<p>

"We all have our ways of grieving my son. I think I will go into teaching for a while. Maybe call Steven." He added thoughtfully.

Spencer knew what he was really saying though. He couldn't deal with any more murder, committing it, watching it. Gideon couldn't deal with any more disguises, deceit, or lies. Spencer could live with that. He gave him a hug, and told him he would only be able to call him once a week on an undisclosed number. That Spencer's name was Aleksander Petrov. Gideon would have to answer to the name of Yuri Ivanov.

Spencer went off into the night as Aleksander Petrov, Russian extrodianare, who had affiliations with the mob. Well, other undercover agents, but they didn't know that.

For the next five months Spencer and Gideon lived off of their two minute phone calls. They may not have been related by blood but they had formed the relationship of father and son, after spending years together, risking their lives, and trusting each other with that.

When he came back from Russia, with a black eye, and a buffer body than before, Gideon said nothing.

Gideon still to this day had no idea what happened down there. The agents involved were sent straight to Cullum's office, as they described the brutal operation that had occurred to bring down the Russian mob.

There were rumors all over the office of what occurred. Only five people knew the truth, and they weren't saying anything.

The night after coming home from Russia was the first time Spencer had cried since he was six years old.

* * *

><p>He returned to the BAU with a vengeance. He clung to his cover like never before, cementing the role of Gideon's protégé for the new and upcoming agents. Gideon would laugh with him, at Gideon's home about how they called themselves profilers. They didn't know anything.<p>

* * *

><p>Spencer would worry for Gideon. He saw how depressed he still was. How hurt he was that Steven still refused to answer his calls, even if he left a message on his voice machine every single day for the past five months. Spencer refused to let this job destroy him. If he saw that Gideon got to his breaking point, he would personally remove him to retirement.<p>

He could be like Agent Rossi, and write books for a living.

He refused to watch his father figure deteriorate because of other people's actions.

* * *

><p>When Elle came into the BAU, Spencer couldn't help but feel like he had met a kindred spirit. Elle wouldn't stop until justice came. Elle wouldn't believe his load of crap. Elle was one of the only people who saw glimpses of the true Spencer. Elle was his go to girl, to help unload the stress. Elle was the love of his life. Elle was the first woman he told about his secret life. Elle was the one who accepted every single thing about him. Elle was the first woman to see the entire Spencer. Elle heard no lies, Elle understood. Elle was his confidante, and the woman he was going to marry one day. Elle was the one he would laugh with over things that they hoodwinked the BAU with. Elle accepted that he was a child solider. Elle accepted the fact that Gideon was like Spencer's father. Elle understood that everything about his life was a lie. Elle was fine with it, because she knew the truth. Elle was the one he came running to after a mission go wary ended. Elle was the one waiting at the airport waiting for him to return home. Elle was the one who…loved him eternally.<p>

When Elle got shot things changed. She started to retreat into her shell. Her vengeance filled with fury. After murdering that man in cold blood, she came rushing to Spencer listening to him console her as he held her tightly letting her sobs come pouring out. Elle loved Spencer for that. Spencer understood. Spencer would not judge, and she knew he would be there every step of the way. Spencer was the fisrt one she told that she was quitting the BAU. She couldn't live her life with people staring at her like she was a murderer, that she had made a mistake. Spencer gave her a new job working for the CIA helping profile high risk child pedophiles. No one there judged. If they knew of her past, they didn't care.

Thanks to Spencer's kindness she had felt for the first time in her life, she was on the right path. Weirder as it sounded, it felt so much better getting rid of the pedophiles than the serial killers. The people she worked with were her confidantes and the best of friends than she could have imagined. She was quite surprised at how people reacted when they found out that the legendary Spencer Reid was her boyfriend.

Elle loved Spencer more than the entire world, and vice versa. So when he kneeled down on one knee after being tortured for days with Tobias Hankel, and told her that all he could think about was getting home to her. Elle had become his life, and he refused to let her not know that every day. He looked at her sheepishly as he pulled out a tiny box.

"Marry me."

* * *

><p>They couldn't wait long. Spencer took a day off and they got married in the church with all of their CIA friends. Gideon was Spencer's best man.<p>

Elle and Spencer knew that they would have to have a tough life. Elle barely saw him, and could only talk to him for so long, but they were in love. Elle had a duty to get people off the streets, and Spencer had a duty to protect his country.

* * *

><p>Spencer knew he had a problem once he had returned from his wedding to Elle. They began to follow him around. Spencer had to set them off their trail. They could not know what or who he was involved with. It would be a breach in national security.<p>

Spencer was never more grateful than he was, for stealing the bottle off of Hankel. He had no intention of using it, but if he pretended he was… it would certainly not make them wonder why he was looking more tired than usual.

He told Gideon what was really going on, Uncle Cal and the Director too.

It was a necessary evil. He had to hurt his team, to keep them from the truths that they did not need to know. If they thought what they were doing and saw was bad, they would be horrified at what he had seen and done.

The BAU was child's play compared to the classified cases he dealt with, in the CIA.

In the meantime, he played. He disguised himself as the FBI agent addicted to dilaudid.

Lie, disguise, and manipulate.

He found it ironic how he had to use this on people he cared about, to hide his oh-so-important top secret life.

* * *

><p>Emily Prentiss. He remembered her file. He had to admire her commitment to pretending to have just come from an at a desk job.<p>

The BAU profilers believed her, but not him.

It takes one undercover agent, to know one.

Morgan didn't count. Sure he did an undercover mission for eighteen months, but he remembered Emily's file.

Two years undercover, with plenty of communication time to their family does not even begin to rival six years deep undercover of isolation. No contact at all to the outside world.

But Emily's didn't even rival his. He had spent sixteen years almost always deep undercover.

It took an undercover agent to know another, and he was surprised to find out she didn't even know that he was like her too.

Some profilers they were.

* * *

><p>Gideon left him.<p>

He went to the cabin to see how he was.

He missed a case.

That wasn't like him

It was dark, and there laying on the table was his gun, certifications, and a letter.

He walked over to the table and began reading it.

_Dear Spencer,_

_Beneath this letter lays the one you will show off saying I couldn't handle the pressures of the BAU anymore. I love you son, and don't you dare for a second think I am abandoning you. Use my disposable phone number. The CIA has offered me a chance to be the head of profiling in a remote location in Los Angeles. I took it. I get to teach Spencer. I don't have to hide anymore. No longer will I be living in deceit, disguise, and manipulation. I will teach. Steven is living down here now. He finally answered my call after two years of trying. Don't be a stranger. Call me anytime, visit when you can._

_You're the greatest son I could ever have imagined, and I cannot say how grateful and privileged I have been that you allowed me to be that figure for you._

_Tell Elle that I said hello, and she better visit me too. Maybe give me some grandchildren? _

_Burn this letter when you finish, and give me a call._

_I love you,_

_You father and friend,_

_Jason Gideon_

He walked to the fireplace and began a fire before gently placing the letter in.

After watching the fire burn he poured the water over it, and left the building.

Getting into his car, he pulled out his phone and dialed. The receiver answered the call immediately.

"Hey Jason, its Spencer."

* * *

><p>He called in for a one week vacation. He said his mother had an episode and he needed to go visit her.<p>

He really went on a plane to profile a terrorist the CIA had in custody down in Texas.

It took exactly five days for him to break.

Spencer grinned when his unusual tactics once again led to the location of the bomb that most likely would have topped 9/11.

When he returned from his "vacation", Hotch had asked him if he had done anything exciting he had to fight back a smile.

"I read Chaucer to my mother." He stated thinking of the fond memory of seeing the terrorist blurt out when and where unintentionally.

After all these years in the BAU, he still couldn't help but wonder how these men were profilers.

* * *

><p>David <em>freaking <em>Rossi was replacing Gideon and Spencer couldn't help but be excited to meet him.

He was a legend that even Spencer himself had to respect. Gideon had talked about his adventures that he David, and Max Ryan had gone through when the BAU had first started.

Though at the same time he couldn't help but feel bad for the guy. Morgan and Prentiss were no doubt going to profile the hell out of him. His books were standard textbooks for any criminology major. Spencer knew what it was like…being the celebrity of a department. Being idolized, having admirers, and not being able to work with certain agents because they were too star struck to do any work.

He prayed to god that his co-workers would give Agent Rossi the respect he deserved.

* * *

><p>The case had gone on longer than any of the BAU team had wished causing Spencer to let out a sigh of frustration. He had to go to one of the most classified dangerous prisons for the next <em>three weeks.<em>

If Spencer was honest he was freaking out to the extreme. He couldn't call Elle, couldn't talk to Gideon. He would be all alone this time. In a freaking classified prison only the CIA knew about.

Could he not get a single day for Elle and himself alone before they were separated once again?

He wondered if the universe was out to get him.

"Hey Reid, we got a confession. We're going to book him and then wheels in three hours." Hotch said.

Maybe the universe wasn't out to get him like he thought.

He couldn't wait to get home to Elle.

* * *

><p>He returned from prison battered and rough as he flew into her arms.<p>

"Baby, what did they do to you?" she whispered into his ear as she hugged the life out of him.

"Classified." He stated with tears coming down his face.

"I'm here love. Tell me what you need." She replied with compassionate eyes.

"Just hold me." He murmured back.

"Let's get you home."

"Promise you won't let go?"

"Promise." She replied as they hopped into the car and went home.

He didn't let go of her hand for a second.

She laid him in bed and snuggled next to him.

"Elle? I love you."

"Love you too Spence."

* * *

><p>Disguise, lie, manipulate.<p>

Those were the three principles that Spencer Reid lived his life by. Three things, simple things, and now all of that was about to be shattered because of one fucking BAU case.

He was about to kill David Rossi for putting him in this position in the first place.


End file.
